Tempting But Wait
“Emotional Intelligence, more than any other factor, more than I.Q. or expertise, accounts for 85% to 90% of success as work.” Warren G. Bennis
I have been seeing such a need for impulse control these days. Individual contributors needing to take the time to think before they speak. Leaders needing to slow down and truly listen to their direct reports. Friends needing to not post so quickly to social media.
Impulse Control is one of the key skills of emotional intelligence. It is the ability to control an urge, resist temptation, and to delay gratification. Here are a few questions to ask yourself about your impulsivity.
· Do you immediately respond to email, texts and phone calls?
· Is your Twitter account on fire?
· Do you get angry when confronted?
· Do you regret many of your decisions or words you speak?
· Do you love to buy things for the thrill of it?
· Do you feel agitated if you can’t get all your work done?
· Do you make fast-paced decisions?
· Do you need all the facts when you have a strong gut or emotional reaction?
It’s okay if you said “yes” to these questions. Chances are, at times, these responses feel good and bring satisfaction. However, does your impulsivity ever lead to more difficult situations later or less productive outcomes? These are the times impulse control is most important.
Here are a few tips for developing more impulse control:
· Take a moment before you react. Deep breath.
· Focus on the long-term gains versus the short-term satisfaction.
· Consider all the options and ask others if there is another option besides the one you are considering.
· Listen. Don’t speak. Ask great questions.
· Delay your responses, especially when emotions are involved.
· Don’t overpromise by asking when it is needed.